Here's another point to help your own self editing:

EMOTION DRIVES FICTION

It's what makes characters come alive for the reader. It's what draws them into the story. Creating engaging emotion encourages readers to use their senses; to mesh the events and images in the story with ones that have happened to them personally.

Emotionless fiction is TELLING rather than SHOWING how your character feels.

• "Sue was sad."
  
• "Joe hated John."

Yes, the reader has felt sadness or hatred, and can identify with that, but there is so much further you can go.

Emotions are much more complex than that. A child anticipating a birthday might feel excited and eager, but beneath that, might be feelings of worry because last year's party was a fiasco, or apprehension because last year he got educational toys as gifts instead of the bike he really needed to ride to school. Or, a man from the workroom getting a promotion to management, might feel anticipation for success and excitement about the pay raise, but he might also feel trepidation for what the job entails, or fear of how the employees who were bypassed for the promotion might react.

To expand on the above emotions, we can say:

• "Sue pulled the blanket over her head and buried her face in the pillow."
• "Joe clenched his fists and held them stiff by his side. Against all his better judgments, he strode away from John."

Knowing your own character's emotions is crucial. How do they react to their emotions? Better yet, how do you convey that to the reader?

Let's take Sue and John a step further.

• "Sue pulled the blanket over her head and buried her face in the pillow. No, she wouldn't let him do it to her again. She flung off the covers and got out of bed."
• "Joe clenched his fists and held them stiff at his side. Against all his better judgments, he strode away from John. He put one hand on the doorknob. The other he hammered on the raised oak panel."

Let's go even deeper still.

• "Sue pulled the blanket over her head and buried her face in the pillow. No, she wouldn't let him do it to her again. She flung off the covers and got out of bed. Then she spun around and dropped back on the mattress. She just couldn't compete with another woman."
• "Joe clenched his fists and held them stiff at his side. Against all his better judgments, he strode away from John. He put one hand on the doorknob. The other he hammered on the raised oak panel. Damn it! He turned and retraced his steps, "Joe, I'm sorry."

See how this gives other aspects to the characters? Sue not only can feel sadness but she can feel fleeting determination and strength; she can feel depression and total lack of ambition. As for Joe: besides anger, he feels regret, remorse and, unlike a lot of people, can say he's sorry.


Exercises in expanding emotion:

There are no right or wrong answers here. Each character will react in a different way. What's important is to show their depth and changeability. Sometimes this change of emotion isn't abrupt, it happens over a period of time, but for the sake of the exercise, let's use immediacy.

What are each of the characters in the following examples feeling? Bring him/her through at least three emotions as they decide how to handle their situation.

• A woman has just seen her husband in a clinch with her best friend. She starts to leave the room.
• A lawyer just lost his first case. Because of a blunder by the judge his client is going to jail.
• A six year old child has just seen his dog run over by a car on a usually quiet street.
• A woman leaves her job at the Quik-Mart at 3 am and is accosted in the parking lot by a masked man.

Last Updated: 16 September 2008 Cindy’s author & “Characters” web site

Designer/Webmaster: ©2003-2008 Cindy Davis